One of my favorite songs of all time is "What it's like" by Everlast. If you haven't heard this song, I strongly recommend you listen to it. The basic moral of the song is, you do not know what the other person is truely thinking unless you've walked in their shoes. It starts by talking about a homeless man begging for change. Someone replies, "get a job you f*(#ing slob." The next part is a teenage girl getting pregnant, and her boyfriend abandons her, so she decides to get an abortion, being called all kinds of hateful names as she goes into the clinic. Then he makes the point that no one is perfect. Everyone has flaws. "I've seen a rich man beg, seen a good man sin, seen a tough man cry, seen a looser win, seen a sad man grin, seen an honest man lie." Then he goes back to the original point about a man that's got himself caught up in the gang life. He gets in a fight, looses his cool, spouts off, pulls a gun, and gets shot. "Now his wife and kids are caught in the midst of all his pain. People say that's what you get when you play the game." These situations are a bit of an extreme for most people, but look back in your life and tell me you haven't judged someone before thinking about what THEY're going through.
This song has made me who I am today. For those of you who know me, you think i'm an antagonist that's always negative and starting arguments. Stop and think about it for a moment. I've always followed the belief that there are 2 sides to every arguement. We all have our sides that we like to take, and we stick to that. We never look at it from the other person's perspective. I call my approach a "Devil's advocate" approach. I am not trying to be an antagonist, or start an argument. I also believe in fairness. People often look at things with goggles on, so to speak. They only see what they want to see, hear what they want to hear, and believe what they want to believe. That attitude really irritates me.
The last week or two, I've had a pretty intense discussion with someone that all started with our president's response to the rising gas prices. As I said in my last blog, his response was, deal with it, and if you don't like it, get a more fuel efficient vehicle. I was told that my responses were critical and insulting. Well, if you ask me, I think it's pretty insulting to tell the people that put him in that office to "deal with it." In this case, I was trying to defend the normal, working class americans who do not have the ability to do that. MOST Americans either live paycheck to paycheck, or require government assistance just to pay their bills. It's easy for someone who has always made good money, never had to struggle to make a living to sit their and offer advice like that. These people make a very comfortable salary, probably have good credit, and can afford to trade their vehicles as soon as it's due for an oil change. A person living paycheck to paycheck has a very fixed and limited income and can't afford to give up just a few extra dollars, let alone a car payment. If I were that person living paycheck to paycheck, trying to support a family, etc. and someone told me that, I'd be pretty insulted. For people living the "good life" they can afford that extra money a week to compensate for the rising prices. For someone on a fixed budget like that, they have to make sacrifices to make up for that. In my case, we had to give up a very nice house and move because I couldn't afford to drive to work. I was very fortunate that my employer had another house for me to move to. If not for that, I don't know what we would have done. I know there are people out there who had it a lot worse than we did. I am thankful that I had an employer that would work with me and help me out. I was told my responses were critical and insulting, and that I should be more positive.
Criticism, insults, and negativity is all a matter of perspective. You can take the same comment said by myself, and a positive person, and I guarantee you will take it two completely different ways. I don't mean for my comments to be insulting or critical, that's just how they come across. I am not starting an argument, merely defending the common person from people who don't take their situation into account. I don't care how positive and optomistic you are, there is no avoiding criticism. If someone needs to improve, let's say a musical competition, there is NO way you can give that person advice on how to improve without it being criticism. It's how we improve.
Then today I was told that if I didn't like it, get a different job. One should REALLY think before they make that comment. A job is something that should be cherished right now. With the economy the way it is right now, unemployment being so high, there are MANY unemployed people that would give anything to have that job. It is not something that should be taken for granted and traded in for something better. Every employer gets a stack of applications over an inch thick for a job. There are litterally hundreds of people out there who would LOVE and give anything to have that job you are taking for granted. It would be nice to move to a different job that makes more money etc., but realistically, how often does that happen?? I would say 1 in 10 times is pretty optomistic. Then you have your "tenure" factor. As you work at a job, you get raises, accumulate vacation, sick leave, etc. To leave would be starting all over. During that 10 years, you've probably got several raises during that time. Most places let you accumulate your sick leave and don't loose it like vacation. So, at 5 days a year, for 10 years, that's 50 days of sick leave. Most places also award you more vacation time for the longer you've been there. For example, 1 week for the first 5 years, 2 weeks up to 10 years, and 3 weeks after 10 years. In that scenario, you have thrown away 50 days of sick leave, which is almost equal to two materinty leaves, and 3 weeks of paid vacation, and several dollars an hour, all that took you 10 years to work for. If you started your job making say $10 an hour, and after 10 years you're probably making $15 + an hour. Tell me how you would better yourself by giving all that up, finding another job that literally hundreds of people are also trying to get. I'm sure any unemployed person would be VERY insulted that you think jobs are expendable and easy to come by.
As I said in the beginning, people have a hard time with empathy and thinking objectively. People need to be more open minded and remember that song. You don't know what it's like until you've been in that situation. You don't know what it's like to not be able to afford to put gas in your vehicle unless you've been in that situation.
Another thing that has been bugging me is Obama getting so much credit for doing something that any president would do. Let me say first that I support the end result completely. I am glad that SOB is dead and gone. The seals that did that should be the ones praised. Obama merely gave an order that any president would do. But, let's look at this from a christian perspective. The bible says that when someone slaps you, do not seek revenge, but turn the other cheek. So, that christian person is supporting someone seeking retribution?? That sounds like quite a contradiction to me. A few weeks ago people defended Obama about the possible government shut down, and gas prices, saying it's not his fault, and he has no control over it. So, you want to praise him and give him credit for taking out Obama, when all he did was merely give the ok. But when there's criticism, it's not his fault. That sounds a little unfair, and one sided. Those are perfect examples of what I've been talking about. My comments were not meant to be insults, but were taken that way. They were taken that way because that person is being stubborn and refuses to be open minded and look at it from both sides. Every one has an opinion about everything, and sometimes we agree, and sometimes we don't. My opinions might be a little one sided, but I ALWAYS try and do my best to look at it from both sides. You don't know what it's like, until you've been in that situation. You don't know what it's like until you've been that homeless guy, the pregnant girl, or the family who lost a husband/father. If more people would look at it that way, and do this, it would be a much more peaceful and understanding world.
No comments:
Post a Comment